LIST OF BART'S BLACKBOARD QUOTATIONS

1. I will not waste chalk
2. I will not skateboard in the halls
3. I will not burp in class
4. I will not instigate revolution
5. I will not draw naked ladies in class
6. I did not see Elvis
7. I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"
8. Garlic gum is not funny
9. They are laughing at me, not with me
10. I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom
11. I will not encourage others to fly
12. I will not fake my way through life
13. Tar is not a plaything
14. I will not Xerox my butt
15. It's potato, not potatoe
16. I will not trade pants with others
17. I am not aear old woman)
18. I will not do that thing with my tongue
19. I will not drive the principal's car
20. I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
21. I will not sell school property
22. I will not cut corners "" ""
23. I will not get very far with this attitude
24. I will not make flatulent noises in class
25. I will not belch the National Anthem
26. I will not sell land in Florida
27. I will not grease the monkey bars
28. I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
29. I will not do anything bad ever again
30. I will not show off
31. I will not sleep through my education
32. I am not a dentist
33. Spitwads are not free speech
34. Nobody likes sunburn slappers
35. High explosives and school don't mix
36. I will not bribe Principal Skinner
37. I will not squeak chalk
38. I will finish what I sta
39. "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender
40. Underwear should be worn on the inside
41. The Christmas Pageant does not stink
42. I will not torment the emotionally frail
43. I will not carve gods
44. I will not spank others
45. I will not aim for the head
46. I will not barf unless I'm sick
47. I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
48. I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
49. I will not conduct my own fire drills
50. Funny noises are not funny
51. I will not snap bras
52. I will not fake seizures
53. This punishment is not boring and pointless
54. My name is not Dr. Death
55. I will not defame New Orleans
56. I will not prescribe medication
57. I will not bury the new kid
58. I will not teach others to fly
59. I will not bring sheep to class
60. A burp is not an answer
61. Teacher is not a leper
62. Coffee is not for kids
63. I will not eat things for money
64. I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call
65. The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee
66. I will not call the principal "spud head"
67. Goldfish don't bounce
68. Mud is not one of theod groups
69. No one is interested in my underpants
70. I will not sell miracle cures
71. I will return the seeing-eye dog
72. I do not have diplomatic immunity
73. I will not charge admission to the bathroom
74. I will never win an Emmy
75. The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy
76. All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy
77. I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause
78. I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
79. My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
80. I will not go near the kindergarten turtle
81. I am not deliciously saucy (HEE HEE)
82. Organ transplants are best left to the professionals
83. The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan
84. I will not celebrate meaningless milestones
85. There are plenty of businesses like show business
86. I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball
87. Five days is not too long to wait for a gun
88. Beans are neither fruit nor musical