You know you are in Washington, DC when......

• 1. People just call the city "DC"
• 2. The government closes schools because there is a 40% CHANCE of snow (That is if they aren't already closed to tar the roofs)
• 3. Everyone calls the 10 inches of snow last year "THE GREAT BLIZZARD"
• 4. All the people on the city board know the mayor from their time in Lorton together
• 5. There are 15 main ways out of the city onto the highway but no signs to say where these are
• 6. Drivers pick up strangers at bus stops so that they can drive in the HOV during rush hour.
• 7. You spend 2 hours to find a parking space and it's for "one hour only"
• 8. The road you are on is suddenly interrupted by a building
• 9. People give directions by how long it will take to get to the destination at different times of the day.
• 10. The weather man declares the weather is suddenly a cool 89 degrees with only 90% humidity and you are happy.
• 11. Diplomat plates bring on anxiety attacks.
• 12. The weatherman calls for 2 inches of snow and you have to rush to the grocery store to buy diapers, milk, bread, and toilet paper... and you don't even have a baby.
• 13. You watch the World/National News to find out what to do this weekend.
• 14. You race for the elevator.
• 15. You dream of moving to the suburbs only to look out the window of your $300,000 house directly into your neighbor's window 4 feet away.
• 16. Nobody you know actually makes anything.
• 17. Most of your friends want to become "independent consultants" (or have)
• 18. All of your friends are either
  • a. Lawyers,
  • b. Computer People,
  • c. Work for some gov't organization with a short abbreviation (i.e.. IRS, DOD, DOE, etc..)
  • d. Work "for the Pentagon" or "on the Hill" or for "the White House" (i.e. they work for a location, but not for anyone)
• 19. Knowing somebody that can get you into an embassy, The White House, or congressional party is a status symbol.
• 20. People talk in acronyms and they actually understand each other.
• 21. When you ask someone what they do for a living they respond "I would tell you but then I'd have to kill you". And they are serious.
• 22. you can spend every weekend going to free things, with all the billion other people who had the same idea
• 23. you stop someone on the street to ask for directions, and 75% of the time they say oh sorry, they are just visiting too.