Certain Inevitable Laws

• THE LAW OF VOLUNTEERING:
  If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.
• THE LAW OF AVOIDING OVERSELL:
  When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
• THE LAW OF COMMON SENSE:
  Never accept a drink from a urologist.
• THE LAW OF REALITY:
  Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
• THE LAW OF SELF SACRIFICE:
  When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
• THE LAW OF MOTIVATION:
  Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.
• BOOB'S LAW:
  You always find something in the last place you look.
• WEILER'S LAW:
  Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
• LAW OF PROBABLE DISPERSAL:
  Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
• LAW OF VOLUNTEER LABOR:
  People are always available for work in the past tense.
• CONWAY'S LAW:
  In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. Tha person must be fired.
• IRON LAW OF DISTRIBUTION:
  Them that has, gets.
• LAW OF CYBERNETIC ENTOMOLOGY:
  There is always one more bug.
• LAW OF DRUNKENNESS:
  You can't fall off the floor.
• HELLER'S LAW:
  The first myth of management is that it exists.
• OSBORNE'S LAW:
  Variables won't; constants aren't.
• MAIN'S LAW:
  For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
• WEINBERG'S SECOND LAW:
  If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.