How things would be different if Microsoft's Headquarters was in Tennessee

1. Their #1 product would be "Microsoft Winders"

2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle

3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag and some duct tape.

4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-right", "Naw", or "Git" instead of "Yes", "No", or "Cancel"

5. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjoes

6. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders 95 would be an outhouse

7. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear "Freebird!"

8. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders 95 theme song would be "Achey-Breaky Heart"

9. Powerpoint would be named "ParPawnt"

10. Instead of "VP", Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz"

11. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am

12. Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver

13. "Well, the first thing you know old Bill's a billionaire..."

14. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator

15. Microsoft CEO "Billy-Bob" (a.k.a. "Bubba") Gates

16. "ParPawnt" would have a "Pond Scum" and a "Junk Yard" Scheme

17. One wrong turn while surfing the web would send you face to face with a 12 gauge

18. "This computer protected by Smith and Wesson" screen saver

19. Directions to Corporate Headquarters- "Down the road a block or so"

20. Microsoft Word includes a phonetic spell checker "Hookt on fonics werk 4 me"

21. Development of Family Tree software would be replaced by the Family Straight Line

22. New corporate dress code - no shoes allowed