VA College Bashing
How many William & Mary students does it take to change a
light bulb?
Three - one to change the bulb, and two to crack under the
pressure.
How many Old Dominion students does it take to change a light
bulb?
Four, two to change the bulb, and two to figure out how to get
high
off the old one.
How many Mary Washington students does it take to change a light
bulb?
The whole student body, there's nothing better to do on weekends.
How many Georgetown students does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, one to change the bulb, and one to throw the old bulb at
American
U students.
How many UVA students does it take to change a light bulb?
One, he just holds the bulb and thinks the world revolves around
him.
How many Virginia Tech students does it take to change a light
bulb?
Three, one to change the bulb, and two to shout their case of how
he
did it as well as a UVA student.
How many James Madison University students does it take to change
a
light bulb? None, Harrisonburg doesn't have electricity.
How many Virginia Commonwealth students does it take to change a
light
bulb? None, downtown Richmond looks better in the dark.
How many Eastern Meninite U students does it take to change a
light
bulb? Two, one to hold the candle, and the other to light the
flint.
How many George Mason University students does it take to change
a
light bulb? Three......
How many Washington and Lee students does it take to change a
light
bulb? Four, one to change a bulb, and three to write up a
complaint to
the board of directors stating that, they wouldn't need to change
it,
if they went to a better school to begin with.
How many Longwood students does it take to change a light bulb?
GE
hasn't located this place yet.
How many U of Richmond students does it take to change a light
bulb?
Two, one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.
More VA College Bashing
Three friends are sitting in a bar one night when they are joined
by a
stranger. The stranger says, "I'll bet each of you $20 I can
tell you
which college you graduated from." They all decide to
indulge him
since his claim is very interesting and potentially lucrative.
He says to the first one, "You went to William and Mary, no
doubt."
Amazed, the former Williamsburg resident asks, "How did you
know that?"
"Easy," replied the stranger "you are very
technical and precise in the
way you talk and describe things." The apparently lucky
stranger then
says to the second gentleman, "You must have attended
Virginia Tech."
Shocked, the Hokie replies, "Wow, please explain." The
twice lucky
stranger states, "You are obviously an alcoholic and you
sound like
you spent too little time studying." The stranger then turns
to the
third man and says "You, I am absolutely positive, went to
UVA." The
astonished UVA alum replies "How could you possibly have
known that
one. Was it my superior intellect or well balanced manner?"
"No," the
stranger resonded, "It was simple actually. I read it off of
your class
ring while you were picking your nose."