Best Man Resources

Toasts

• May all of your troubles be little ones.
• May your arguments be as long-lived as my New Year's resolutions.
• May all of your days be as happy as the ones before.
• May the most you ever wish for be the least you ever receive.
• To love and laughter and happily ever after
  To Fate, that brought you together,
  and to Love, that will keep you happy forever.
• Here's to husbands and sweethearts : may they never meet!
• May you live as long as you want, but never want as long as you live
• May the happiest day of your past be the saddest day of your future
• No man is complete, until he is married -- then he's finished
• May you never lie, cheat or drink
  But if you must lie, lie in each others arms
  And if you must cheat, cheat death
  But if you must drink, drink with all of us, because we are your friends.
• To a couple destined for a world of success not only in life, but in love, congratulations and good luck, my friends.
• BRIDE, please place your hand on the table in front of you.
  Now GROOM, put your hand on top of BRIDE's.
  I want everybody in the room to see the last time that the groom has the upper hand!
• May your hands be forever clasped in friendship and your hearts forever joined in love

Quotes

Advice is seldom welcome, and those who need it the most like it the least
Lord Chesterfield

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings
William Blake

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too!
H.L. Mencken

Better bend than break
Scottish Proverb

Great occasions do not make heroes or cowards - they simply unveil them to the eyes of men
Bishop Westcott

Best Man Speech
(Word version available)

When GROOM first asked me to be his best man, I was a little bit nervous. The best man is responsible for a great many things, as most of you know. Each of them carry a great deal of responsibility, and I was determined to carry through fully with each.

My first responsibility was to talk him out of it. There is a saying, that no man is complete until he is married; then he is finished. But I have known both GROOM and BRIDE for a while, and I knew that they were perfect for each other.

My second responsibility was to plan the bachelor party. This is an ancient tradition, dating back to the days when Spartan soldiers held stag parties. The groom would feast with his male friends on the night before the wedding. There he would say good-bye to the carefree days of bachelorhood and swear continued allegiance to his comrades.

Not ones to follow tradition, we went to Atlantic City and won $500 at the slots.

Besides decorating the car and carrying the ring, I had but one final responsibility. The speech. Now, rather than bringing up embarrassing moments from GROOM and BRIDE's lives...like the time GROOM (slipped while rappelling out of our dorm room) or when BRIDE used to dress up like a hooker and try to pick up men, I did a little research.

There were once arranged marriages, where the groom's family told him who he was to marry, in exchange for land or animals for the bride's father. They very rarely let him see the bride because if he didn't like her looks, he may refuse to marry her. So the father of the bride gave her away to the groom, who lifted the veil to see her for the first time. Fortunately for Mr. Last Name, I know GROOM looked forward to lifting the veil today.

Many early marriages were by capture. The groom would kidnap the woman, taking her away from her tribe with the help of the best man who would fight off other warriors in pursuit of his woman. GROOM asked me to perform this ritual, but I politely declined. The warrior would hold his bride by his left hand, while wielding his sword with his right, which explains their positions at the altar.... Speaking of their hands,

BRIDE, please place your hand on the table in front of you.

Now GROOM, put your hand on top of BRIDE's.

Good. I wanted everybody in the room to see the last time that GROOM has the upper hand!

Let me close by saying that I was very honored to be chosen GROOM's best man. I have a great deal of respect for both of them. May the most they ever wish for be the least they ever receive.

I ask you all to raise your glasses in a toast to GROOM and BRIDE Last Name. May their hands be forever clasped in friendship and their hearts forever joined in love.

Well, thats all I have. Good luck on your speech. If I had any real words of wisdom to give you, I would tell you, but I have none. I recently married Rhonda (5-25-02) and had my best friend do the best-best man job I have seen. He was natural. And drunk.